Sanctimoniously Performing Soliloquies

The more I read, the more I love literature; the more I write, the more I believe writing to be the salve to the universe. To read other people's formulated thoughts, to formulate my own thoughts, in a tangible, legible, many times undecipherable way is where I find truth, beauty, and the good.

I earned my second master's degree this month, and with each degree I collect, the more I grow in my appreciation for humanity but also my worry-hope for the future. It's awesome that we haven't completely destroyed ourselves yet; it's terrifying that we can. Even within our constant existential terrors, I still write. I still read. I still think.

During my two years of English graduate coursework at UConn, I've thought and read about nature, children's literature, teaching writing, the medical field, feminist pedagogy, the Black literary tradition, contemporary poetry, feminist science fiction, decolonial feminism, adaptation, racial dystopias, the study of America, how to develop professionally as an academic, the contemporary bildungsroman, and the plantation. I've written papers on Hayao Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke, Lois Lowry's The Giver, the doctors in Star Trek, bell hooks's pedagogy, Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern, Marge Piercy's Woman at the Edge of Time, Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea, Octavia Butler's Parables duology, Chanel Miller's Know My Name, and Maurine Whipple's The Giant Joshua. I've created syllabi for courses on education, justice, speculative poetry, and utopia and dystopia. It's been a rather full two years—and the next (potentially) five years are going to be just as fun (just like senior year, except for funner!).

When I originally applied for graduate school three years ago, holed up in a little Airbnb in London during a coronavirus surge, I knew what I wanted my dissertation to be on: dystopian literature and the law. I was thinking, at the time, about George Orwell and British law for a fellowship, which was a soft launch for my larger project about dystopia and the court. Law and literature is the combination of two fields, and I knew I needed the knowledge of both fields to say what I knew I wanted to say (even though I couldn't then and still can't fully articulate in its entirety what that is—that's what dissertating is about, right?). I applied to almost thirty programs, trying to find one that would allow me to pursue a PhD in literature and a JD, to bring together my two interests. Some law schools accepted me; some grad schools accepted me. UConn gave me the best offer (thanks, UConn!), so here I am, two years in and truly loving the English department here.

But over the past year, I've concluded that my literary studies, great as they are, won't provide me with the entirety of what I want. I yearned for an understanding of the legal apparatus I wanted my literary studies to speak to. I knew I could teach myself the law—as someone who reads, I can technically learn almost anything—but I wanted some authority with that knowledge and some foundation upon which to stand.

I went to my committee and the Director of Graduate Studies and told them my crazy plan: to attend UConn Law's evening school while pursuing my PhD and working as a graduate assistant during the day. They each shook their heads at my insanity (because it is a form of insanity), but each of them said almost the same thing: If anyone can do it, you can. With their (reluctant? hesitant?) support (support I am so grateful for everyday), they wrote my recommendations, and I was accepted to UConn Law.

My next year, then, is pretty routine, if more and more stressful. For my PhD, I'll be completing my comprehensive exams and writing my prospectus. For my graduate assistantship, I'll be teaching in the WGSS department. For law school, I'll be going through the first-year curriculum .

Easy, right?

The comprehensive exam for the PhD is the moment the graduate student gets to read in their chosen fields deeply, formulating their opinions and view of the larger conversations occurring around their topic of choice. I've chosen my fields as "Utopian and Dystopian Literature" and "Law and Literature" with an emphasis in "American Law and Sexual Justice Literature." For UConn's exam process, we create the two lists of texts, 60–75 each, and then we have a little less than a year to read all of the books. At the end of the reading (and thinking and talking and crying), our doctoral committee (three or more professors who are our guides and gatekeepers) assigns us exam questions for each field. We write an essay, approximately 10–15 pages, in a 24-hour time period, using the specific field and the books read on it to answer (or provide an answer). After we write the two essays, we have an oral exam that synthesizes the two lists. It's a really fun process, and I'm stoked for it.

The prospectus is the final task between being a PhD student and a PhD candidate. In the prospectus, I'll outline what my dissertation will be, providing a relationship to the field and what my contribution to the knowledge of humanity will be.

The first-year curriculum for law school for evening students at UConn Law is separated over two years. My classes are scheduled between the hours of 6 p.m. to 10 p.m., Monday through Thursday (honestly, the most difficult part of the program is having to stay up past my usual bedtime). In the fall, I'll be taking classes on researching and writing, civil procedure, torts, and contracts, and then in the spring, I'll be finishing the coursework for civil procedure and contracts while adding in courses on criminal law and interviewing, counseling, and advocacy. It's about four classes every semester (rather than the usual five for the daytime students).

For WGSS, I’ll be TAing for the Sex and Gender in Everyday Life for fall, and then I’ll find out more about my teaching assignment for spring later on. 

So, my timer for this blog post is running out, but I wanted to provide a more detailed update to where I'm at in this rather busy time in my life. I'm really excited for it. I'm feeling a little daunted by it. But I'm also feeling buoyed up by my community and the wonderful, amazing chances I’m being given.

PS: Can you tell which song is my favorite on TTPD?